What is marriage in Islam?
At a glance,
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The way of the Prophets before us
Allah (swt) said: And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad) and made for them wives and offspring. 13:38
This revelation serves to highlight the human nature of the Prophets, demonstrating that their lives encompassed the same human experiences and relationships as their followers, which should be recognised and emulated.
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An indispensable garment
They are garments for you, and you are garments for them.2:187
They are tranquillity for you, and you are tranquillity for them.11 Just as clothes conceal one’s private areas, marriage likewise represents a mutual covering of each other’s personal blemishes and faults. Just as clothes provide protection from the elements, so do spouses, who protect one another from the difficulties of being single and the difficult seasons of life.
Beyond mere protection, clothes offer comfort and beauty to the wearer, and likewise, the comfort that a happy marriage provides is unparalleled. Just as we choose the clothes that will accommodate our needs the most, the mentality of a spouse should be to accommodate and be responsive to the needs of the other. Lastly, seeing that clothes are the closest to us in proximity and exist in direct contact with our skin, spouses ought to maintain closeness to one another and avoid long periods of physical and emotional separation.
11 Al-Ṭabarī, Tafsīr al-Ṭabarī.
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A miracle in every sense of the word
Marriage involves two individuals who have never known one another, perhaps even having been born and raised in different cultures and climates, suddenly becoming the closest and dearest people to one another in life, sharing a bond of utmost dependency, mercy, and love. Allah (swt) said:
And it is He who has created from water a human being and made him [a relative by] lineage and marriage, and your Lord is ever powerful.25:54
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The most wholesome form of worldly joy
Life is an enjoyment, and the greatest of its enjoyments is a righteous wife. Sahih Muslim
Furthermore, when the Prophet g was asked, “What wealth should we seek to acquire?”, his response was different to what they expected, as he said:
One of you should seek to acquire a heart which thanks Allah, a tongue which remembers Allah, and a believing wife who will assist you with regard to your Hereafter. Tirmidhi
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Most effective pathway to inner peace
Consider the following verse in which Allah (swt) declares:
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who reflect.
Although these verses are often quoted on wedding invitations, we seldom pay attention to the context of where they were revealed in the Qur’an. This is important to consider, because the placement of verses in the Qur’an reveals the importance of that idea relative to other concepts. Consider the following verses:
And of His signs is that He created you from dust, then – behold! – you are human beings spreading over the Earth.
And one of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who reflect.
And one of His signs is the creation of the Heavens and the Earth, and the diversity of your languages and colours. Surely in this are signs for those of [sound] knowledge.And one of His signs is your sleep by night and by day for rest as well as your seeking His bounty in both. Surely in this are signs for people who listen.
And one of His signs is that He shows you lightning, inspiring [you with] hope and fear. And He sends down rain from the sky, reviving the earth after its death. Surely in this are signs for people who understand. And one of His signs is that the Heavens and the Earth persist by His command. Then when He calls you out of the earth just once, you will instantly come forth. Al-Rūm, 30:20-25.
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A cause for the rise and fall of nations
What goes on within the four walls of your home has a knock-on effect that impacts the entire fabric of society on the greatest level. This is because what we call “society” begins at the smallest possible group: a family. Families live in streets that are neighbourhoods; these neighbourhoods come together to form a town; towns are part of cities; cities form a country.
If the unit of the family is broken at its fundamental level, then the repercussions of this will be felt at the highest levels of society. Of all the challenges that threaten the Muslim Ummah locally and globally, the disintegration of the Muslim family is one of the most threatening realities. Many of the deeper travesties and traumas that plague humanity can arguably be traced back to dysfunction within the family unit, one rooted in clear social research and historical precedent.
In a momentous historical study, Edward Gibbon, one of the world’s greatest historians, identified five main causes of the decline and fall of Roman civilisation, which were:
- The weakening sense of individual responsibility
- The breakdown of the family structure
- Seeking pleasures that became increasingly hedonistic, violent, and immoral
- Excessive taxes, government control, and intervention
- The decline of religion.
Research even links divorce to increased rates of child obesity, because less time and money is likely to be invested into serving regular, nutritious meals for children.
Parents are also likely to overfeed their family, and children often rely on emotional eating (largely consuming processed, high-fat, high-sugar foods) as an emotional coping mechanism for the stress of handling the separation.
Rising divorce rates have now become a global phenomenon despite geographical and religious variances – marriages are breaking down in the East, the Global South and the West alike.
Across the world, statistics regarding marital breakdowns are both alarming and sadly consistent. According to the noted Princeton University family historian Lawrence Stone, “The scale of marital breakdowns in the West since the year 1960 has no historical precedent that I know of and seems unique – there has been nothing like it for the last 2000 years, and probably longer.”
Allah (swt) said:
And everything We have set out in detail.17:12
He also said: Certainly, We have brought them a Book which We have explained in detail with knowledge. 7:52
The Qur’an also declares that:
Never was the Qur’an a narration invented, but a confirmation of what was before it and a detailed explanation of all things, and guidance and mercy for a people who believe. 12:111.
Considering this, the 20 Qur’anic principles on which this book rests are universal (apply everywhere), timeless, and self-evident (their wisdom is immediately apparent to a balanced and fair human being). All the principles within this book are just as true in the world of human relations as the law of gravity is in the physical world.
With that said, let us begin our journey!
Adapted excerpt is from Married Ever After by Ali Hammuda - 9781847742391
